The report from the hospital is mixed.

The good news is that they found no obvious malignancy.

The bad news is that they did not find the confirmation they were expecting that it is all benign.

So, I go into hospital on 4 May for the lump to be excised. I'll be in hospital a couple of days and off work for a couple of weeks.

I am told the surgery will be 'disfiguring'. I'm not entitled to reconstructive surgery on the NHS, and my insurance only covers reconstruction in cases of cancer or accident, so I'll have to stay 'disfigured'. Not that I am anything much to look at anyway, but it still sucks.

The last five months have tested me way beyond anything I could ever have imagined. I'm wondering what the next thing is going to be. Something good, please. I want something good to happen to me. I need something good to happen. I'm scared right now.