It's been really hot in Essex these last few days, and I've been going to bed late, the nights have been insufferably hot. So last night, or to be more precise, early this morning, around 1.30am, I'm lying on the bed, reading, and I looked up to see this thing on my ceiling. I swear to God, it looked about a foot long!

I didn't want to splatter it on the ceiling (even if I could've reached it), so I abandoned the bedroom for a while. A long while. At about 4.30am I heard my upstairs neighbour go out, and that was my cue to get the Dyson and suck the thing off the ceiling. The Dyson cylinder was empty, so I got a good look at the bug before I chucked it out (alive, just a bit dizzy). It was an oak bush cricket, apparently. General concensus amongst my online friends I'd been chatting to through the night was that the bug was a cricket, but it looked too damn big. In the Dyson, it was a tiny, wee little thing.

If only I'd had one of these. That has so got to be worth a tenner. I need to get one. (Yes I will do it now!)